Comprehensive sexuality education in all schools is an absolute necessity. It is a preventative measure that can and does protect children from sexual violence in various forms including incest and rape by people known to them. The absence of comprehensive sexuality education and the ongoing refusal to implement it in all schools is not only a disservice to children and the people who have gone through the system, but an act of violence. It is withholding information that is critical for people to assess risk, make good decisions, identify acts of violence, and report threats, intimidation, and acts of violence toward them by (would-be) perpetrators.

The children of this country need access to information. We need to acknowledge and respond to the fact that they will not be children forever, and they cannot be expected to responsibly participate in a world they do not understand. Providing them with information gives them the ability to make informed decisions. It does not promote or encourage recklessness.

Comprehensive sexuality education does not teach children how to have sex. It increases their ability to prioritise their health and wellbeing, not only when they decide to engage in sexual activity, but as they navigate relationships.

Below are ten facts that are important for us to know about comprehensive sexuality education.

  1. It is scientifically accurate. It includes biology and uses the proper names for body parts including penis, vagina, vulva, and anus. Knowing these words and being able to identify these body parts is critical for children as it enables them to clearly communicate about what is happening to their bodies and report acts of sexual violence against them.

  2. Contraception, pregnancy, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are covered. Students are introduced to condoms (both external, known as male condoms, and internal, known as female condoms), oral contraceptives (commonly known as birth control pills), implants, injections, patches, and intrauterine devices. They are taught about pregnancy and how it happens, how it can be prevented, and which contraceptive methods also protect against STIs. It is important for young people to know the proper names and common names of STIs, the symptoms, how they are transmitted, and the available treatments. At least as important as this information is national statistics on the prevalence of STIs.

  3. Comprehensive sexuality education is for all ages and curriculum is designed to be age-appropriate. Those in the first grade do not receive the same information as those in the tenth grade. Younger students are taught that their bodies belong to them, that there are good touches and bad touches, and that they can trust their own instincts and feelings about which touches are good and which touches are bad. They are taught about consent in simple, relatable ways and given permission to say no when anything is uncomfortable, and encouraged to talk to their parents or another authority figure if someone makes them feel uncomfortable. High school students are taught more about biology, relationships, and making the distinction between sex and rape.

  4. Comprehensive sexuality education has a human rights approach. It focuses on the humanity of people and does not aim to shame them for the changes in their bodies and their curiosity about sex. It affirms young people’s identities and how those identities affect the way they experience the world. They learn about discrimination and violence, and they are taught the value of empathy and being able to resolve conflict in nonviolent ways.

  5. Self-determination is a critical part of the curriculum. By providing this information, young people are empowered to make their own decisions. They are given life skills that they will need and use forever. These include condom negotiation, which can be difficult for people of all ages, and firmly, confidently saying no, even under pressure to say yes.

  6. Power dynamics are included in comprehensive sexuality education. Young people, especially children, need to know that people in positions of authority and older people do not get to automatically do whatever they want to their bodies. They learn that they own their bodies. They also learn that people sometimes misuse and abuse power. Adults may use age or positions such as teacher, religious leader, or relative to convince young people to do something, to not talk about something that happened, that something terrible was okay, or that no one would believe them. They need to be aware of this and to know that it is manipulation and it is wrong.

  7. Discussions about healthy relationships are an important part of comprehensive sexuality education. Young people often start thinking about, observing, and entering relationships before the adults in their lives know or talk to them about it. Navigating relationships is difficult, and they need to be equipped with tools that help them to be clear about what they want, clearly communicate what they do and do not want, set boundaries, see red flags, prioritise their own wellbeing, and get help from an adult when needed. They need to know that relationships should be mutually beneficial, should not involve pressure to do anything, and should not involve any form of violence.

  8. Sexual and reproductive health and rights are deeply connected to comprehensive sexuality education. Having this information is a right for everyone. Young people need to know the age of consent. They need to know what consent means and what does and does not constitute consent. They need to know when and how they can access healthcare on their own and what that healthcare should include.

  9. Gender, discrimination, and violence have to be included in comprehensive sexuality education. Gender is a factor in various parts of the curriculum including power dynamics and the legal age of consent. Discrimination is also relevant in those components. Violence is, unfortunately, always relevant and the risk of violence can change with age, gender, socio-economic status, and various other identity markers.

  10. A sex-positive approach is critical to the success of comprehensive sexuality education. Sex should not be presented as bad or negative, and people who have sex should not be characterised that way either. It needs to be acknowledged that sex involves pleasure. It is not exclusively for procreation, nor is it for the enjoyment of one person. It should be mutually enjoyable. This is important as it makes clear that sex should be a good experience for the people involved and not a sacrifice that is made for or to someone else. This is helpful for people as they make a distinction between sex, which is consensual and enjoyable, and sexual violence which is nonconsensual and in many cases, though not all, does not feel good. This is not the same as encouraging sexual activity. It is providing important information that they can use to assess situations, both in the future and in the past.

It is our responsibility to ensure that children are protected from predators, young people have the information and confidence to make good decisions and access to the services and resources they need, and perpetrators of violence can be identified, reported, and appropriately charged. We cannot do this by pretending young people will be immune to their own sexuality and abstain from sex unless we acknowledge the existence of sex and sexuality. It is unrealistic to expect them to accept the directive to abstain without any further information or the explanation of other options and the related risks and benefits.

Reports on sexual violence are in the news every day. There are cases of incest, statutory rape (reported in very incorrect, misleading terms as “unlawful sex with a minor”, conflating rape with sex), and rape that get very little attention unless we hear specific details. Sometimes the age of the survivor or the circumstance of the assault cause alarm and upset, but every case does not get the same response. People have become and are becoming desensitised. People are finding ways to excuse sexual violence. Rape culture continues to dominate, leading adults to blame children for being preyed upon by adults. Adults demonstrate their complete ignorance about consent every day. Young people are not the only ones who need comprehensive sexuality education, and that is obvious, but they certainly need it immediately.

Many parents are unwilling to talk to their children about sex. Many are unequipped. Many do not want anyone else to do it. What ends up happening is young people learning from other young people, and young people using the internet and turning to popular culture for answers to their questions. Depending on the sources they find, they could get accurate information, or they could be misled. We have the opportunity to ensure that they have accurate information and access to resources and services. This should not be squandered in the name of fear. Adults have to get past their discomfort, and they need to prioritise their children. The government needs to take responsibility for the education and health of the people in this country.

Comprehensive sexuality education needs to be in all schools and at all grade levels. We cannot afford the consequences of not making this decision. We need to end rape. We need to end incest. We need to end all forms of sexual violence against everyone. This begins with education, and this is the only way to truly empower the people who are at the highest risk.

Published in The Tribune on July 26, 2023

It is nowhere near surprising to read news stories about increased reports of sexual violence. It has become a near-daily challenge to get through articles about court cases involving men who have raped or otherwise sexually assaulted children where their crimes are referred to as sex or, in some other way, named as though they are not criminal, abuses of power, and void of consent.

The language used by police and courts is used in newspapers, all but erasing the word “rape” from public conversation. This is, in part, how we have come to talk about children as though they are adults, and survivors as though they are perpetrators. This is rape culture. This is adultification of children (and black girls in particular), the hatred of women, the refusal to acknowledge human rights, and the determination of far too many people to ignore the crisis that is gender-based violence.

Violence of many kind has been normalised in The Bahamas. It has been a part of our everyday vernacular for a long time with words like “hit” being used to describe various acts that are not necessarily violent, and threats of violence are made loosely, in jest, and without reproach.

“Rape” is used to describe various activities that people consider unfair, but which, otherwise, do not compare to the vile, criminal act of sexual violence. Somehow, though, when it comes to rape, the language changes. There is less willingness to use the appropriate word — rape. Instead, terms like “unlawful sex” are used to refer to the criminal act of a man raping a child. There is no excuse for this. Police reports do it, then the news media does it. The courts do it, then the news media does it again. One says they are using the language of the other, for consistency, yet the law says that the offence is rape.

Rape is caused by rapists. Rape culture makes it easy for rapists to rape people. Rapists seek to dominate, so people in situations of vulnerability, largely due to their identities, are often targeted. These include women, children, and people with disabilities. Rape, as we have seen in the reported cases over the past few weeks, does not need many conditions in order to occur. Rape happens during the day, and it happens at night. It is perpetrated by rapists indoors and outdoors. Rape is perpetrated against strangers, family members, friends of family members, friends, co-workers, people under the care of the rapist, and people with many other relationships to the rapist. There is no single act or set of actions that anyone can take to prevent themselves from becoming the target of a rapist. Rapists rape.

It is not that nothing can be done to prevent rape, but that preventative action is not for potential targets to undertake. It is not up to individuals to protect themselves from rapists. It is for governments to enact and enforce laws, make clear the obligations of institutions, including schools and workplaces, connect institutions and stakeholders and facilitate ongoing communication and implementation of action plans, develop appropriate, effective interventions, provide support services for survivors, centre survivors and their healing in justice systems and practices, and provide programmes for perpetrators that rehabilitate and prevent recidivism.

Asked about the increase in reports of sexual violence, the police press liaison officer said there are “crimes of opportunity because we are not taking the time out to put necessary precautions in place”. Let us assume, for the purpose of usefulness and productivity, that the officer was referring to prevention that must be led by public institutions. What precautionary systems and measures should be in place?

Let’s start with the root of this issue. There is a dangerous gender ideology that stems from slavery, colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy that has convinced people that women are subhuman, are to be dominated by men, and are objects. It has also convinced people that men are to perform masculinity in the most toxic ways which include violence, hostility, a very limited range of emotions, and both the willingness and ability to dominate anyone who is not a man performing in the same way, especially women and men who are not (perceived to be heterosexual.

The vast majority of sexual violence is perpetrated by men. This is not disconnected from toxic masculinity or the constraints of the gender ideology that put women and men in boxes while marginalizing all other people. One of the ways that some men seek to assert their masculinity — and distance from femininity which has been so devalued by heteronormative gender ideology that it is regarded as perverse — is perpetrating violence. When manhood is questioned, when masculinity is undermined, when authority is not theirs alone, see how many men thump their chests and proclaim, “I’s man!”

Listen to the threats they spew. Watch the way they engage women as opposed to men. Listen to the way women talk about their experiences with them. Differentiate between the platonic love and respect they have for each other and the vitriol and disdain they have for women they may even claim to love.

Where a relationship exists, perpetrators of violence convince themselves that it is ownership. Where a relationship does not exist, and a perpetrator wants there to be a relationship, he decides to punish. Where a relationship does not exist and the perpetrator has no interest, and ownership — by another man — is not established or immediately evident, the perpetrator assumes control.

Rape is about power and control. Relationships only determine how a perpetrator violates a person, unless he respects a man who has already claimed ownership. All of this is misogynistic. All of it is dehumanising. It is all linked to the idea that women are subhuman and subject to the whims of men. This dangerous idea is perpetuated in explicit and implicit ways, from fathers giving their daughters away at weddings to the normalization of sexual harassment in public spaces. None of this has anything to do with what women do or do not do, or efforts made or not made to protect ourselves from rapists. It is directly related to societal ideas and behaviours related that subjugate, devalue, and dehumanize women and girls.

The press liaison officer, unfortunately, went on to do what we have come to expect from the police. Victim blaming. “Females need to make sure that they are upfront and they are honest with their family members in letting them know where they are going, who they are going with, and not saying you going one place and you end up another and something goes wrong.”

While we may agree, in theory, that it can be helpful for us to let people know our plans, we need to be realistic about the benefits of the practice. If something goes wrong and people know where we are, then what? Something has already gone wrong. Sure, we may be found and receive assistance sooner, but the violation has already occurred. No sharing of plans would prevent a rapist from raping in a location that we disclose. The problem is the rapist. We can, of course, delve into the reasons people lie and withhold information, especially when there are differences in values and fear of judgment. For now, we need to be realistic about where prevention takes place.

Prevention is in schools. It is in the way we teach children about their bodies, about consent, and about paying attention to and responding to their instincts. It is in comprehensive sexuality education, and discussions on healthy relationships, warning signs of abuse and abusive partners, sex positivity, and bodily autonomy. It is in households. It is in the way we tell people to moderate their behaviour, the respect we show and demand be shown to our children, the communication channels and practices, and the modeling of safe, healthy relationships of various kinds.

Prevention is in street lighting. It is in safe, reliable, accessible public transportation, and having it as an option at night. It is in the clearing of bushes, pedestrian crossings and enforcement of traffic laws. It is in legal reform to criminalise rape, contributing to the widespread understanding that rape is rape, no relationship is a defence for rape, and women are human beings with human rights regardless of marital status. It is in legal systems and practices, from bail to assessing the actual effects of a sexual offenders registry to reporting mechanisms.

Prevention is in the way government officials regard women and girls, and the urgency with which they respond to issues, especially gender-based violence, that directly affect us and often lead to femicide.

The Minister of Social Services said: “The rush of the past in dealing with sensitive issues have failed and caused Bahamians to be sceptical and cynical about what they perceive is haste without complete dialogue with the people.”

This is a matter of urgency. Years and years of back and forth on a bill, turning it into a senseless debate when it is an issue of human rights, is not rushing. This issue is not sensitive to anyone but the people experiencing violence every day, and having little or no recourse. It is not sensitive to government actors, content to let bills like the marital rape bill and the gender-based violence bill languish, and who allow extended discourse about whether or not it matters that a woman is raped if the rapist is her husband. There is no sensitivity there, and there is certainly no sense.

The minister also said: “The position of the Church is fundamental and has been in each step taken in the growth and development of our country.”

The Church is fundamentalist. The religious leaders who are talking about this issue, delaying the bill with their misogynistic, violent nonsense are fundamentalist. They fundamentally believe that women are less than men. That women do not deserve rights. That men should get away with rape if they are married to the victim or survivor. That their god is pleased with violence. That their opinions are more important than the fact that rape is violence, women have human rights, and that those rights include freedom from violence.

This is what is delaying the passing of the marital rape bill. This is what is delaying the gender-based violence bill (rather than the significant work that needs to be done to make it useful, including actual engagement with human rights experts and NGOs with proven technical expertise on women’s human rights rather than the government’s — or the Attorney General’s Office’s — selection of yes-organisations).

“We have made progress, and we will soon complete our due diligence,” the Minister of Social Services said.

What progress? What due diligence? What is the meaning of “soon”?

It is interesting to see the specific ways that government institutions suggest we, women and girls, protect ourselves, juxtaposed with the vague, unsubstantiated nonsense they offer when pressed to do more than perpetuate rape culture by blaming us for the violence we experience.

If the government did its job, we would be able to go to ours without being raped on the way, or on the way back, or while there, or during a call to tell someone where we’re going, or when catching a ride, or or or or or.

At some point, the government, especially legislators and law enforcement, must accept that the blame is on rapists, and that they facilitate rapists far better than they protect us, the women and girls who live with the perpetual fear of rape, and/or the memory of it.

Published in The Tribune on April 5, 2023

The issue of sexual violence against women and girls is in the media too often for us to pretend the incidents are isolated or separate from systemic issues. We struggle to recognise and address some of those issues, such as capitalism and misogyny, while others are universal enough to receive widespread acknowledgement. Most of us agree, for example, that the current economic structure does not work for most of us and it is obvious that the distribution of wealth is disproportionate and not tied to merit or skill.

Connections, however, are not immediately made between economic conditions and violence against women. Coercion is often downplayed and there is a lack of analysis of circumstances under which women and girls are sexually violated.

We are all used to seeing photos of missing girls. Many people ignore them or make dismissive, presumptive comments about the girls without knowing anything about their situations. There is a disturbing willingness to ignore the predatory behaviour of men who take advantage of the vulnerability of girls.

Adults make judgments about the characters of 13, 14, and 15-year-old girls. They label them as “bad” and decide they are undeserving of the resources it would take to not only find them, but protect them from the criminals who specifically, consistently prey upon them.

There are sexual predators who spend time developing relationships with girls. They find out about their lives at home. They get details about the other people living in the home, when they are present and what they can and cannot provide. They find the gaps and make promises to fill them. They do some or all of what they promise. They earn the girls’ trust.

During this time, these predators groom the girls. They set expectations of the girls. Those expectations tend to include the secrecy of their relationship, the dynamics within the relationship like the requirement that they are obedient and deferential to the predator and the nature of the exchange. The girls do not always know what they will be expected to give, but they are made to understand the “love” they receive has to be reciprocated in some way. All along, the predators create an image of themselves that is authoritative. This image may already exist due to their jobs, or it may be impressed upon girls through their interactions.

By the time a girl goes missing, if she is, indeed, “with man,” there has likely been a grooming period. A relationship has been established and the predator is the authority figure and the source of something the girl needs and has not been able to otherwise acquire. Maybe they promise a better life. Maybe they suggest a payment of debt. Maybe it is supposed to be a treat. Maybe it is by force. Maybe an event at home prompts the girl to seek refuge somewhere else. By whatever means, predatory men steal girls away from their homes. Whether or not the girls resist, this is a crime.

The girls’ family members report their absence and the police seek assistance from the public. Members of the public decide they know the story and assign blame to the girl and her guardians. Maybe there are a few offhanded comments about “big, rusty men,” but the girls are found guilty: of being too fast, of wanting to be women, of being duped by men.

They are, essentially, judged for not being the “right” kind of children — those who have what they need, know the right things to do and say, and are, by their material conditions, protected. The parents are found guilty of not knowing enough about where their children are when they are not with them, of not disciplining them enough, of not paying enough attention, and of being focused on other things. They are guilty, in many cases, of having to be away from home to work for long periods of time.

Children are not responsible for themselves.

Girls are children. Before a teacher can take children — in their care at school — on a field trip, the parents or guardians of those children need to give their written consent. Children do not attend doctors appointments without parents or guardians. They cannot drive. They cannot legally purchase or consume alcohol. Girls cannot consent to sex.

When cases of sexual violence against minors are reported, the language used — given by the police — does not make it clear they cannot consent. Phrases like “unlawful sex with a minor” are used. This certainly does not help. People continue to read it as girls choosing to have sex with men rather than men preying upon girls who cannot legally consent to sexual activity.

We all know of stories of religious leaders, teachers and family members taking advantage of children, whether by use of force, threat or manipulation. These adults are criminals and need to be held accountable. The children are in need of our support and protection.

As with many other issues, ending grooming, manipulation and sexual violence against girls requires a multi-tier and multi-pronged approach. While some children get the “Good Touch, Bad Touch” lesson early in primary school and some get a version of sexuality education in high school, there is a large gap in time and information between the two.

They are constantly warned about eating too much candy and spending too much time on screens, but what about the predatory behaviour of adults they may already know and trust? They need to be taught to assess situations, determine when an interaction is or is not safe, and how predators may try to get information from them and use it to manipulate them. They need tools to deal with strange situations, not only with strangers or new contacts, but with people familiar to them.

Even when children have the warnings, information and tools to safely respond to situations, it is not a replacement for specific needs that may be met by going a different route. Economic factors often complicate situations for people who cannot see another way. We have seen, over a long period time, but especially following Hurricane Dorian and now during the COVID-19 pandemic, that we do not have a proper social safety net. The assistance available to people who are unemployed or underemployed is not sufficient. People have always struggled to pay rent, keep food in the home and purchase medication. For many, it is now much more difficult.

It is not unusual for the those who have to take advantage of those who need. Financial institutions do it. Businesses do it. Individuals do it. Some of them are able to make it look like they are helping people, but they are usually helping themselves to much more.

When will we create systems to support the people who cannot support themselves? When will we make the changes necessary for a fair distribution of resources? When will we stop blaming people for their own vulnerability?

To end hunger, we have to recognise the need to develop food security, then learn to grow our own food. To prevent the disappearance of this country, we have to acknowledge the issue of climate change, then build, consume, develop, and fund differently. To end sexual violence, we have to — among other actions — actively reject victim blaming, connect the issue to gender inequality, and understand how it is directly related to socioeconomic conditions.

Sexual violence against children, missing girls and sexual harassment are far too common, casually dismissed and, as a result, underreported. It is never caused by “bad” girls or less than constant supervision, but by the attitude that girls are disposable—one area sexual predators and victim-blaming people seem to agree. The safety and protection of girls is on us, from our attitudes to our actions.

Date for the diary

Equality Bahamas is hosting Women’s Wednesdays: Redefining Leadership at 6pm with guest moderator SDG Focal Point, Regional and International Partnerships Aneesah Abdullah. Ms. Abdullah will be in conversation with women leading in various sectors including business and non-governmental organizations about women’s leadership beyond the stereotypical traits and expectations. The conversation will focus on the importance of feminist leadership, what we need from leaders in various sectors, and the value of leaders who are willing and prepared to advance women’s rights in law, policy, and practice. The session will be held on Zoom and streamed at Facebook.com/equality242.

Published in my weekly column in The Tribune on February 3, 2021.

Bishop Simeon Hall recently called on the church to take a stance against sexual violence, specifically including acts within families and marriage. He made a distinction between the desire for sex and the attempt to gain power which leads to sexual violence. Hall also correctly made the connection between the dehumanisation of women and failure to see us as valuable people, noting society must value women in order for sexual violence rates to go down.

We need more leaders of the church to not only “boldly decry” sexual violence, but to implement programmes and policies that address the issue and support survivors. Hall encouraged women to report to the police, seek medical care, and take their time to heal. These are all important to hear, particularly for women who have been taught their wellbeing is worth less than the reputation of male relatives.

Many churches have men’s groups and women’s groups. Are they talking about sexual violence, making a distinction between sex and rape, making members aware of available resources, and advising of the support they can expect from the church and its leadership? They need to do all of this, but also to sensitise members to the issue and encourage them to support survivors and refrain from trying to silence them for any reason, biblical or otherwise.

A troubling part of Hall’s statement, however, was his comment about Bahamian women accepting and promoting “a low self-image of themselves and other women”. It is not clear exactly what he meant, but it appears to be a form of victim-blaming — pointing to women’s own behaviour or beliefs as contributing factors.

It is important to understand that nothing women do outside of perpetrating acts of sexual violence is a cause of sexual violence. Self-image could mean appearance in which case I emphatically state that nothing about a woman’s appearance is a cause of rape, whether she looks a certain age, wears a particular outfit, is visibly differently-abled, or seems to earn a low income. There is no such thing as asking for sexual violence.

Self-image could also refer to sense of self including abilities and value. Again, this is not a cause of sexual violence. It is, however, important to separate perceptions of women (including our perceptions of ourselves) from the value of women as human beings and as contributors to family, society, and economy in a system rigged to extract our labour in excessive amounts without appropriate compensation or consideration to the need for change.

Men do not just need to learn to take rejection. They need to respect women and recognise us as human beings. They need to be taught about consent and agency which is our ability to make decisions on our own. It is critical we all understand consent where agreement to participate in a specific activity is given freely and enthusiastically without coaxing and can be withdrawn at any time, whether or not the activity has started.

Some structures function to limit us and force non-consensual activities such as the belief that men are entitled to the bodies of their wives and wives are biblically bound by a one-time consent rule. These cause harm on multiple levels and are contributing factors in the high rate of sexual violence in The Bahamas. People look to the church for direction, and the leadership needs to stand up and provide it in ways that create change.

Published by The Tribune on May 1, 2019.

Most of us know Bill Cosby as Heathcliff Huxtable. He is a doctor married to lawyer Clair Huxtable and father of five children. He is a funny, playful character with endearing eccentricity. Everyone loves Cliff, and wishes he could be their father. The Cosby family was aspirational, and The Cosby Show gave us somewhere to be when our own lives, homes and families did not quite manage to bring us joy. Young black people got to see themselves on television in a positive light. Doctors and lawyers, split-level homes, families they could support and the ability to work through anything that came along. Bill Cosby had come to represent all of this. Positive representation of fathers and husbands, visibility of black families, years of family-friendly entertainment and hope for a successful, happy future.

Now we see someone else.

Accusations of rape and other forms of sexual violence against Bill Cosby did not just start in the past few years. This has been happening — and largely ignored — for decades. One of the most recent events was the lawsuit brought by Andrea Constand in 2005 who alleged Cosby had drugged and molested her in 2004. During the process, 12 women made similar allegations and Cosby denied them all. In November 2006, the lawsuit was settled out of court.

In October 2014, the conversation picked up quickly, increasing in volume and reach, after a clip of Hannibal Buress’ stand-up went viral. Buress takes exception to Cosby’s touting of respectability politics. Buress said, “Yeah, but you raped women, Bill Cosby.” Likely due to the wildfire spread of the clip, the Daily Mail ran Barbara Bowman’s rape accusation wherein she called Cosby a monster. From then on, women have been coming forward to share their stories. Cosby’s colleagues have done their best to cast doubt on those claims, swearing his innocence.

Cosby admitted in a 2005 deposition that he put quaaludes in women’s drinks. There is no mystery around the use of drugs and drinks in sexual violence and it corroborates stories that scores of women have shared about their experiences with Bill Cosby. He drugged and raped women. Some remember parts of what happened to them at his hands while others do not.

Last week, Cosby was found guilty of aggravated indecent assault and could face up to ten years in prison. Not yet sentenced, he is free — though confined to his Pennsylvania home — on $1m bail. His legal team is likely to appeal and almost a dozen women have civil suits pending against him. Responses to the verdict vary greatly. Some are celebrating and recognise the #MeToo movement for its role in calling for justice in high-profile cases of sexual violence. Some express their certainty that 60 women lied, and Cosby is innocent. Others pretend to be on a line between the two, claiming they want women to be safe and access just justice, but do not think it is right to send Cosby to jail for a crime white men have committed and evaded prison.

“They are trying to ruin a black man’s legacy,” they say.

“Those women were lying. Their stories are too similar,” they say.

“They definitely lied. Their stories don’t match,” they say.

“Woody Allen and Harvey Weinstein are still free, so why does Cosby go to jail?” they say.

We can talk about race. We can talk about how much the US justice system hates black men. We need to talk about the systems — white supremacist and otherwise — that have allowed white men to terrorise women and never have to face the public disgrace and consequences they deserve. We simply cannot have that conversation as a way of excusing or protecting other criminals. We cannot use that conversation to detract from the ongoing conversation about sexual violence, particularly perpetrated by men in positions of power.

We cannot have a conversation about race at the expense of women. It has always been far too easy to forget the black community includes women.

People look at Bill Cosby through Heathcliff Huxtable-coloured glasses. They see the loving husband and father he played on The Cosby Show. They see the weird sweaters, hear the funny jokes and feel the sparks of hope and pride at seeing a happy black family on television. They confuse the character with the actor — the real person, Bill Cosby. They ignore the power dynamic that emboldened Cosby and allowed him to sexually violate women and get away with it for a long time. They see a cultural icon.

Compare the rhetoric of the pro-black anti-woman rape apologists in support of Cosby with his respectability politics campaign that registered high on the self-hatred scale. He framed the issue of racism in the US as a black people problem — one AfricanAmericans created for themselves and can solve for themselves. How? By wearing their pants differently, of course. By changing the way they speak. By giving their children more Anglo names. A few changes in behaviour would be all it took to end racism forever, right?

If you have never heard Bill Cosby’s speeches denigrating black people — especially young black men and parents — start with the “pound cake” speech he made on the 50th anniversary of the Brown vs Board of Education Supreme Court decision. Apply his logic to his situation. He says a black man did not have to get shot if he did not have pound cake in his hand. He did not have to go through these trials if he did not always have quaaludes in his pocket.

Maybe Cosby only got to court because he is black. Maybe the system is rigged. Maybe there is something to be angry about. If so, we need to carefully think about what should make us angry.

Is it that a black man is charged and convicted of a crime of he committed, or that a white man is not charged and convicted of a crime he committed? Do we want to fight for the freedom of black sexual predators, or do we want to fight for justice to be served, regardless of the identity of the predator? We need to deal with our inability or unwillingness to separate people from their work.

R Kelly is not even a discussion in most spaces. He has been known to violate young women and girls for years. Story after story reveals his predation. We are horrified by the accounts of those who get away, but many of are not bothered enough to stop supporting him.

By now, we should all understand that we do not have to take money out of our pockets for him to make it, but just playing a song on YouTube helps to finance his den where the women are cut off from family and friends, must ask to go to the bathroom, are completely subject to his abuse and control. Does this disgust you? Is it changing the way you consume?

How far have we come since the OJ Simpson trial? Think about all you consider before coming to a decision on high-profile cases. Race, gender, age and popularity tend to heavily impact judgment. There are stories we immediately dismiss and positions we feel obligated to take.

It is not easy to consider multiple identities, but we must. We need to find ways to be honest with ourselves about our own biases, learn to value justice, and resist the call to automatic solidarity. People are not always as they seem. They are not their work and they are not what they pretend to be. We have to look at what they do. When it comes to justice, our favourites cannot be exempt.

 

This was published in The Tribune on May 2, 2018.

I’ve seen and heard about people lamenting the ongoing discussion about women’s human rights specific to our bodies. While it can be exhausting to engage in seemingly endless conversations on a popular topic, or even observe them, it is far worse to be repeatedly violated, taught to accept it, and face attempts to dissuade you from believing your own experience. We have to talk about sexual violence, particularly against women and girls, for many reasons. One of the most obvious is that it continues to happen, disproportionately affecting the most vulnerable among us.

Conversations about sexual violence against women and girls are frustrating. It is emotionally draining for those of us who have experienced it and continue to experience it. There is a burden on us to talk about some of the worst things we have ever gone through, We are expected to participate in story-sharing campaigns, little thought being given to the psychological effects of reliving the trauma, or worrying about who may find out and treat us differently. It makes people uncomfortable — even those who consider themselves “good guys.” The black and white of sexual violence and rape culture scares people to the point that they are desperate to believe and convince others that a gray area exists. There can be no gray area when we are talking about people using their power to exert control over another person’s body. Whatever form it takes, it is a violation without explicit consent.

What is consent?

It’s difficult to address these issues without defining consent. In the simplest of terms, it is permission, a yes, and confirmation of willingness to participate from a person who is over the age of consent, conscious, and sober. Consent cannot be assumed. There can be no guesswork here. Certainty is a must, and that can only exist when an option has been offered, and the other person has been given the opportunity to accept or decline on their own terms. Silence does not count; consent has to be explicit.

Once you have consent, know that it is for the activity and time agreed upon, and remember that consent can end. It is not granted forever, and people can change their minds. You need continuous consent. It is possible to consent to something, start an activity, then decide not to continue. You may not like it if someone does this, but consent is mandatory so you need to accept it.

What isn’t consent?

Consent for one thing does not mean consent for another. You may think one activity “naturally” leads to another, but you need to check in with the person to see if they want to move on to something else. Consenting to kissing is not the same as consenting to kissing followed by digital penetration. Be honest about what you want to do, and respect the person’s right to decide whether or not they want to participate.

It is important that consent is recognized as a necessary step that protects all participants. It is not difficult, and it is not a hurdle. It is not a contest or a conquest. Coercion voids consent. No is no, and no amount of bullying, begging, or wearing down will turn that a no into an enthusiastic, continuous yes. Doing any of these things takes away the person’s choice, and creates a situation where the only answer is yes, and that is not consent. It is a violation on its own.

What is sexual violence?

Sexual violence is a term to describe sexual acts against someone who has not given consent. It’s a spectrum with harassment toward one end and rape at the other. Many people find it difficult to see sexual harassment and rape in the same category, largely because harassment is considered harmless. Street harassment, for example, has been so normalized that some refuse to acknowledge its affects on those experiencing it. An unwanted interaction can begin verbally, and has the potential to escalate to following or physical assault, regardless of the initial response.

Like rape, harassment and every other form of sexual violence is about power — not sex. Conversations about sexual violence are most often derailed by perpetuators of rape culture. These are people who believe the victim is somehow always at fault. They use respectability politics in attempts to put women and girls in our place, and hypermasculinity to excuse men and boys for unacceptable, predatory, criminal behavior. At Hollaback! — a movement formed to end street harassment — we challenge people to think about what could happen in the dark if we excuse harassment as appropriate behavior. Events like Junkanoo and Carnival give us an idea.

Law Enforcement Says

In December 2017, the Royal Bahamas Police Force (RBPF) foolishly made a victim-blaming post, warning women to “dress appropriately” to avoid sexual violence at Junkanoo. After significant backlash, the post was deleted. Unfortunately, some saw fit to defend the RBPF, suggesting that sexual violence is a response to certain styles of dress. This, of course, is incorrect, victim-blaming, and suggests the inferiority of the men and boys through perpetuation of the idea that they have no self-control.

Earlier this month, Trinidad & Tobago police took a different approach. Carnival quickly approaching, they advised the public that wining on someone without consent could be considered assault. Rather than addressing women and attempting to restrict their movement or choice of dress, they spoke directly to potential perpetrators. While this was lauded by women’s rights organizations and activists, some took exception the message. In particular, soca artist Machel Montano told a crowd to ignore the police advisory and “find somebody to jam.” In response, Police Public Information Officer ASP Michael Jackman said, “I want to make this clear that is important to respect any female’s right to say no to any physical touching in or outside the Carnival season, and that is the position of the TTPS.”

The police in Trinidad & Tobago clearly have a better understanding of the right to body autonomy, the mandatory nature of consent, and the appropriate group of people to address about sexual violence.

A (Trinidad & Tobago) “wining etiquette” flowchart has been circulating over the past few days. It is meant to make men think about their relationships with the women they want to “jam” on. Yuh know she? How yuh know she? Based on answers to these basic questions, it advises on how to approach her, whether, usually beginning with a face-to-face interaction. It ends with either “Gih she wuk!” or “Cease & desist.”

One part of the flowchart brings the marital rape debate to mind. From the “How yuh know she?” question, if the person chooses “We currently romantically involved,” the result is “Gih she wuk!” This suggests a romantic relationship gives a man access to a woman’s body, as though consent is automatic and perpetual (or lasts as long as the relationship). How is this different from Bahamian legislation where the definition of rape excludes the married rapist and victim? We still have work to do. All of us need to understand that people are not objects, relationships do not give us ownership, and consent is always mandatory. Whether it’s a wine/wuk/dance or a sexual activity, it is necessary to ask. Otherwise, your actions could be on the spectrum of sexual violence. You’re a nice guy? Great. Respect the other person. Ask for consent.

Published in The Tribune on January 24, 2018.

We need to talk about consent. Most of us understand it to mean permission. Parents and guardians signing forms to allow children to participate in extracurricular activities probably comes to mind. We don’t think about consent as a way of controlling and protecting our own bodies. Instead, we view the bodies of women and girls as public property.

When we force children to show affection to family members and friends without prejudice, we teach them they do not own their bodies. When we tell teenaged girls, “Dress the way you want to be addressed”, we are telling them other people’s perceptions of them are the most important thing. We have many ways of making each other less than human, stripping away rights and dignity. We find ways to blame one another for any violation experienced, conditioned by and continuing the perpetuation of rape culture.

Rape culture is prevalent in our environment and allows people to believe there is something women and girls can do to prevent sexual assault. We can dress differently, travel in groups, ensure we are always accompanied by men, refrain from consuming alcohol, get home before dark and ignore our own sexuality. Even further, we can purchase a number of products like special underwear that only we can remove and nail polish that detects date rape drugs in our drinks. The onus is continuously put on us, women and girls to protect ourselves by being less visible and investing in products specifically designed for us. As if this is not enough to bear, our law does not recognise us as full people after we marry.

According to the Sexual Offences Act, once married, women are no longer entitled to (not) give consent to their husbands and are expected to engage in sexual activity whether we would like to or not. The Act says we cannot be raped and, by marrying us, men have unlimited rights to access our bodies.

What if this were the case for murder? If a man owns his wife’s body to the extent he can penetrate her vagina without her consent, what is to keep him from thinking he can kill her without consequence? If we stick to the “two become one” argument, we set ourselves down a slippery slope. Married women can vote, but not say “no” to sex and have the right to press charges if her husband rapes her. Married women are human beings in some ways, but property in others.

There is no reason for women to be denied the right to choose what to do with their bodies, in marriage or otherwise. The narrative of false accusations is completely baseless at best and foolish at worst. If we create legislation and policies based on potential for misuse, we would likely be forced to go without. Anarchy, anyone?

People talk about the great fear of the lying woman. Won’t married women lie on their husbands, just because?

People sometimes lie — not women; people. Cases sometimes go to court and the defendants are innocent. Sometimes it is difficult to prove the crime. We see this happen every day. This is the reason for courts, judges and juries. It is the reason evidence is required. The justice system has its issues, but so do society, the church and the institution of marriage. Are we really satisfied to doom married women to live as the property of their husbands, able to be lawfully violated? Are we happy to have even ten women suffer in silence, with no legal recourse, because one might lie on her husband? Do we really believe men are entitled to sex on demand when they marry a woman?

To be clear, rape is not sex. Sex can only occur with clear, continuous consent from all parties involved. When anyone is forced to participate in sexual activity, it is assault — a violation. If a person is underage, they are not able to give consent. If a person is intoxicated, they are not able to give consent. If a person is unconscious or asleep, they are not able to give consent. Consent must exist for a sexual act to be lawful. It must be explicit and cannot be coerced. There is no such thing as sex without consent; that is rape. It does not matter whether or not the people involved are married. Consent is not granted in perpetuity, regardless of licences and vows. We have the right to say yes or no.

In July 2009, then MP for Long Island Loretta Butler-Turner tabled the marital rape bill which would have amended the Sexual Offences Act to omit “who is not his spouse” so that marital status does not enter the definition of rape or impede access to justice. Eight years later, we are having the same conversation on the same level, seemingly with no better understanding of or appreciation for women’s rights as human rights. We listen to political and religious leaders and allow them to guide our thoughts on opinions far too often. We forget Members of Parliament and Cabinet Ministers work for us and should be acting in the best interest of the Bahamian people. Laws and policies should be made to protect the most vulnerable among us; not putting them at higher risk or further marginalizing them from the rest of society. Religious leaders should not be interfering in governance of the country, or imposing themselves and their views on the citizenry. They should be rebuking the consistent, dangerous misuse of biblical text to support misogyny.

Those who support men who rape their wives often use biblical text, mostly in fragments, to compel others to do the same. A favourite is Ephesians 5:22 which implores women to submit themselves to their husbands. Those quoting this scripture conveniently neglect to mention verses 23 and 28 which call on men to love their wives as Christ loved the church and “as their own bodies”. A true, practising Christian would surely look at the full scripture and, upon seeing “love,” refer to I Corinthians 13 for its definition and characteristics. According to Paul, love is patient, kind and protective and is not self-seeking. If a man loves his wife, would he not be patient, kind and protective, and willing to put his own desires aside instead of being self-seeking? If a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church — for which He gave His life — what limit would there be to what he would give up for her? Why aren’t we holding men to the same standards we demand women meet?

A married woman is still a woman, and a human being. Married women, like unmarried women, have human rights. These include being equal in dignity and rights, the right to security of person, freedom from slavery or servitude and recognition everywhere as a person before the law. In addition to being protected from sexual assault and understood to be human beings, women deserve to have access to justice. We need to look at the Sexual Offences Act and its definition of rape. We need to look at the way we view marriage and, in particular, the privileges of men within the institution. We need to understand that rape is rape, no matter who is involved. Perhaps more than that, we need to look at the positions we take and the arguments we use and ask ourselves who we are trying to protect – and why?

Published in Culture Clash — a weekly column in The Tribune — on December 20, 2017

Published in Culture Clash — a weekly column in The Tribune — on October 18, 2017

‘MeToo’ — a campaign started by Tarana Burke and promoted by actor Alyssa Milano encouraging women to let people know they have experienced sexual harassment or assault has populated social media with evidence of the pervasiveness of sexual violence.

While it is empowering for some to be able to share their stories, or even say they have experienced something without naming or describing it, it is difficult for some people to see and understand.

It has sparked necessary conversations about sexual harassment and made it clear we need to clearly define the term and consider its effects.

In a 2015 survey conducted by Hollaback! Bahamas and Cornell University, 71.9 percent of respondents said they first experienced sexual harassment before the age of 15.

Seventeen percent reported their first experience of sexual harassment occurred before the age of 10.

We often think of sexual harassment as benign comments causing minimal harm if any at all, but over 50 percent of respondents were groped or fondled in 2015, and 80 percent had been followed by a man or group of men which made them feel unsafe.

Seventy-nine percent chose not to go out at night, 85 percent changed their route home, and 72 percent decided not to interact with a person as a result of street harassment.

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favours and includes verbal and physical acts of a sexual nature which violate dignity and/or create an intimidating and hostile environment.

It often depends on and abuses an existing power dynamic, used to coerce people in order to access or maintain employment or enrolment in educational institutions.

For example, in the workplace an owner, manager or supervisor may use their position and subsequent privileges to sexually coerce employees.

Suggestive remarks and inappropriate touching often go unreported because those experiencing sexual harassment fear being ostracized, terminated or facing discrimination at work.

Not limited to the workplace or educational institutions, sexual harassment frequently occurs in public spaces.

This is known as street harassment. From whistles and “Hey, baby” to following and groping, it is a daily experience for many. It disproportionately affects women, people of colour, differently-abled people and members of the LGBT+ community.

Generally, the more people are in a public space, the higher the frequency of street harassment, so those who walk and/or use public transportation are at a higher risk.

Why does this matter?

Sexual harassment, even when taking the form of comments and suggestions, is not harmless.

It is an act of violence. It is easy to dismiss this as an exaggeration, but it does not take long for an unwanted comment to escalate to physical aggression. Sexual violence is a spectrum, and while sexual harassment is seen as the lower end, it is not far from rape.

A sexual harasser ignores the same concepts and messages as a rapist. They impose themselves on other people.

They refuse to acknowledge or respect boundaries. They do not bother to get consent.

They are okay with making people feel uncomfortable.

They prioritize themselves.

They look for ways to exert their own power.

They do not care if the person says no or shows fear or anger.

They want to do what they want to do, no matter how it makes another person feel or impacts their life.

If a person can sexually harass someone in public, or in private where their job can be at risk, what else are they capable of?

What can they do behind closed doors, with no one to see, intervene or report?

Sexual harassment and the casual manner we respond to (or ignore) it contributes to the normalization of violence. It creates a world where people are free to do as they wish without consequence.

We assume everyone has the same experiences and interpretations of events as we do, and expect them to respond in the same ways.

We are slow to consider other points of view, and recognize the problem with predatory, violent behaviour whether or not it directly affects us.

Our failure to teach and talk about consent has manifested itself in generations and generations of people who have no spatial awareness, no understanding of boundaries and a belief they have the right to other people’s bodies.

What is the difference between a compliment and sexual harassment?

In discussions about street harassment a lot of time is always spent dissecting compliments and trying to draw a line between a compliment and harassment.

This is an exercise in futility because there is no clear, solid line.

This is obvious in the definition of sexual harassment which uses “unwanted” as a descriptor of the act. By definition, an act is deemed sexual harassment when the person on the receiving end does not want to experience it.

One person may find a comment acceptable while another does not. While one person may be flattered by a comment, another may be offended, angered, or fearful.

The difference between a compliment and sexual harassment is how the message is received.

This means we need to be mindful of other people’s feelings and pay attention to social cues.

If someone walks by quickly, avoids making eye contact, or is engaging in another conversation or activity, recognize that person as uninterested in your attempts to engage.

If you decide to offer a greeting and get no response, accept the lack of interest and move on. Resist the urge to impose yourself on another person.

If you give what you believe to be a compliment and get no response or a response you do not like, move on without taking up more time and space.

If your “compliment” has another result, something has gone wrong. Remember that compliments are about making other people feel good; not about making yourself feel good or reaping a reward.

Impact vs. intent

People often find the seemingly blurred line between a compliment and sexual harassment frustrating, especially when their focus is not on ending sexual harassment, but on their own desires.

If your “compliments” make someone cross the street, leave the office, or find other ways to put distance between themselves and you, you have had a different impact.

It is not unusual to affect people in unexpected, unintended ways. Sometimes we want to make people laugh, but offend them instead. There are times when we want to lighten the mood, but our actions only make things more uncomfortable.

At these times, our focus should not be on excusing or explaining ourselves. A message was not delivered properly, and it has affected other people.

Instead of considering our own feelings and getting lost in ideas of our rightness, this is the time to recognize the impact our actions had on the other people involved. Our impact is more important and deserving of our attention than our intent.

Bystander Intervention

Most of us have witness sexual harassment. We see people pull strangers by the arm to force conversation.

We hear whistles and kissing noises.

We see people being cornered by strangers. By not doing anything, we condone this behaviour and communicate that we don’t care what may happen next.

If we understand the importance of consent and ownership of our own bodies, it is on us to condemn acts of sexual violence.

We can do this by directly addressing the harasser, distracting them with a question (like which bus to take or directions to the nearest bank), asking others to help stop an act, and checking in with people who experience harassment in our presence.

There is always something we can do to help.

For more information on ending street harassment, visit facebook.com/hollaback242.

The Sexuality and Online Harassment panel — part of Equality Bahamas’ Women’s Wednesdays series — centered the woman’s body and explored ideas of access, presentation, expectations, and vulnerability.

Panelists:
Erin Green, LGBT+ Advocate
Jodi Minnis, Interdisciplinary Artist
Tamika Galanis, Artist-Scholar
Princess Pratt, Storyteller

For more information on the Women’s Wednesdays event series, like Equality Bahamas on Facebook.

Published in Culture Clash — a biweekly column in The Tribune — on July 12, 2017

“Talkin’ to people bad” is the Bahamian way. That’s what they want us to believe. We play into the narrative that to be Bahamian is to be abrasive, rude, and condescending without second thought, apology, or recompense. We imagine that adulthood gives us the right to say and do as we wish with no consideration to the impact we have on other people. A “Christian nation,” we spin, bend, and reshape scripture until it tells us what we want to hear. We convince ourselves that it is our job to give people what they deserve. We cut their skin, we hit their car, we vote them out, we embarrass them on Facebook. In our minds, there is justification for this. There is righteousness in this. Vengeance is ours. We are doing The Lord’s work. Right?

Online harassment is seldom discussed as it is generally viewed as a minor issue, its impact ignored and trivialised by most. Taking various forms, online harassment is a growing beast, used to disempower, embarrass, and defame people. When discussed, whether it affects a celebrity or a community member, too much attention is put on the personality, politeness, and profession of the victim. Many are quick to search for reasons to justify the attack and blame the victim for the harassment they experience and its subsequent effects.

Most recently, Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian have entered the headlines, dominating online conversations for days after Rob posted nude photos of her on Instagram. Public dialogue centred around Blac Chyna’s career as a stripper, perceptions about her reason for being in a relationship with Rob, and the amount of money Rob spent on her. It is telling that people are more interested in excusing Rob’s behaviour, using Blac Chyna’s behaviour to somehow cancel out Rob’s, or painting Blac Chyna as the villain in this situation than seeing online harassment for what it is — abuse.

As a human being, Blac Chyna — like all women and all adults — has bodily autonomy. This means she can strip. This means she can be a sex worker. This means she can take photos and videos of herself in all states of dress. This means she can share those photos and videos with people of her own choosing. These are her rights. You, too, can do all of these things. Maybe you do. You may even do one or more of these things without realising it. None of these things makes Blac Chyna (or you) deserving of online harassment.

Rob’s Instagram post was revenge porn — the nonconsensual sharing of sexually explicit images by a former sexual partner for the purpose of embarrassment. It was the distribution of images Blac Chyna did not intend for public consumption. Using her work history as justification of Rob’s actions is both ridiculous and counterintuitive. If Blac Chyna’s body and the ways she provides access to it is a means of income-generation, why are Rob’s actions not recognised as theft? Why would he not be sued for loss of potential income? This happens in cases of copyright infringement and intellectual property disputes, so why not with the body? In any case, the act is classified as revenge porn.

Revenge porn — a form of abuse — is illegal in California, and Blac Chyna has since been granted a restraining order. Instagram responded by suspending his account. These two consequences are a validation of the real impact of revenge porn and other forms of online harassment.

We need to understand online harassment as abuse, a crime, and the cause of emotional distress and, potentially, professional ruin, for those experiencing it. We have to be able to separate personality from the details of criminal acts.

When we start to respect people’s bodily autonomy, we may finally be able to talk to our children about consent. We may be able to help young people recognise early signs of abusive relationships, and create an environment where they can report incidents without fear of being blamed or ridiculed. When we are able to see sexual violence as a spectrum, from harassment to rape, we may be able to address it at multiple levels — not just enforcing punishment, but implementing effective preventative measures.

Online harassment has many faces. It is not always sexual in nature. It can seem innocuous at the start, and build to become a scary, damaging, embarrassing experience. At a time when so much of our national dialogue lives on social media, it is important that we are considerate in our communication with others, especially those we do not know personally.

Divergent points of view should not lead us to participate in hate speech, threaten, or defame others. There are ways to disagree respectfully without losing “stripes” or the argument. Even more, there is a responsibility to intervene when we witness online harassment. The intervention may not be of the Sermon on the Mount variety, but should be a visible form of support for the person being attacked, and a clear message to the attacker that their behaviour is being monitored and is condoned or welcomed in the space.

If you see someone sharing sexually explicit images or videos without consent of the people depicted, report it to the platform and to the Royal Bahamas Police Force Cyber Crime Unit. If you know the person, take the opportunity to tell them to delete the post because it is a form of abuse and a crime, and there is no excuse for it. If you see other forms of online harassment, say something to the harasser.

The experience of online harassment is compounded when people standby in silence, failing to rebuke the asinine behaviour of the harassers. There are many ways to intervene. You can be direct and speak to the harassers on the post, in their inbox, or in person. You could also ask someone with a better relationship to the harassers to address the issue. If you are not comfortable with any of these options, check in with the person experiencing harassment. Knowing someone sees it, knows it’s wrong, and supports you makes a big difference.